


close enough to home

by soaringslash



Category: BlazBlue
Genre: 1sentence, Hurt/Comfort, Ikaruga Civil War, M/M, Permanent Injury, SPOILERS ABOUND, bc hazama was like these are my kids now, cameo appearance of the pfds carl and ada, implied one-sided ragjin, mostly hurt tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soaringslash/pseuds/soaringslash
Summary: what they have is not love - has never been, will never be - but it is comfortable. it would be selfish to hope for anything more.
Relationships: Jin Kisaragi/Hazama, Jin Kisaragi/Hazama Honoka
Kudos: 6





	close enough to home

**Author's Note:**

> thought I'd try one of these... it's 1sentence, so it's pretty disjointed and proper sentence structure is mostly ignored

#01 - Air

He can’t help but gasp when Hazama’s hand brushes against him; it never ceases to surprise him, that he can still feel.

#02 - Apples

Jin grew up reading the Bible, so of course he knew the story of Genesis - what was one more sin, though, when he was already damned all the way to hell?

#03 - Beginning

Kazuma could never be so bold, could never reach out to another like this, and that is yet another way Hazama is different.

#04 - Bugs

(He thinks that maybe it was when he watched the flies take her apart piece by tiny piece that Kazuma died for good.)

#05 - Coffee

“For you, Major,” he purrs as he sets the mug down on the desk, “Ah,” Jin replies, and for the first time he meets his eyes.

#06 - Dark

It is easy at night; their eyes are too dark to hold reflection, and there’s no risk of seeing too much, of being seen.

#07 - Despair

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Jin happy, but when he’s dragged back to the branch after an ill-fated fight with the Grim Reaper, he gets a glimpse of how deep that unhappiness goes.

#08 - Doors

Hazama is not Kazuma is not Terumi, and yet it isn’t always easy to tell the difference.

#09 - Drink

He’s almost gentle like this, when he grasps Jin’s jaw with his slender fingers and pours the medicine down his throat.

#10 - Duty

Being confined to desk work wears on Jin’s nerves, leaves him jittery and restless, so when rumors of a certain SS-Class Criminal reach him, he jumps at the opportunity. 

#11 - Earth

It doesn’t matter where he needs to go, he will find him - Hazama admires that lovely persistence and rewards him by quietly paving the path to his demise.

#12 - End

“This is it,” Terumi snarls in his new body; Hazama waves him away, “I don’t care about that.”

#13 - Fall

It’s nothing so simple as falling in love, this feeling that must have rooted itself in his chest when he wasn’t paying attention.

#14 - Fire

Jin is long past tears now, too hurt on every front to feel anything but numb - just when he’s about to give up for good, a hand drifts into his blurry view, “Don’t tell me you’re going to Hell so easily!”

#15 - Flexible

There’s so many timelines, twisting and intertwining and spiralling toward their end, so why not this, too?

#16 - Flying

It doesn’t feel real; Jin’s mind drifts often, and Hazama suspects that it’s not just the injuries that make him so spacey.

#17 - Food

“You gotta eat something,” and there’s a dangerous edge to his voice that makes Jin obey (he’s still not prepared for Hazama to shove a whole boiled egg in his mouth, though).

#18 - Foot

Celica is teary-eyed as she explains that he’ll never walk again - Hazama can’t bring himself to be upset when Jin doesn’t care either, and only echoes some empty words as he pops the breaks on Jin’s wheelchair so they can leave.

#19 - Grave

What does it mean _(when death clings to you like a second skin, when it has taken everything from you)_ when your hand is taken by someone undying?

#20 - Green

His world has been colorless and dull since the only thing he loved vanished, until one day he looks up to a shock of startlingly emerald hair.

#21 - Head

Hazama doesn’t pretend he knows Jin’s thoughts, and in return Jin doesn’t pretend to try to know his.

#22 - Hollow

He doesn’t delude himself that this is love - it’s barely even like.

#23 - Honor

_“It’s an honor to meet you, Lieutenant Kisaragi,” the man purrs - Jin doesn’t remember his name, nor the words that come after, and even now the name Honoka means nothing to him._

#24 - Hope

What keeps them together is a sort of resignation - this is already better than either of them deserve.

#25 - Light

“What do you want?” Hazama asks, and Jin realizes he no longer knows.

#26 - Lost

It started with Kazuma, maybe, this kinship he feels for those who grew up too fast without ever really growing up at all.

#27 - Metal

Butterfly knives - a fitting name, as they flutter through the air with deadly grace, as they caress him just close enough to part the the first layer of skin.

#28 - New

Jin Kisaragi isn’t Jin, no longer resembles that little boy that clung so tight to his brother - maybe because there is no brother now, maybe because his body is swaddled in bandages that cover the lines of scar that show where they pieced him back together.

#29 - Old

And yet, for all that he is not, he never quite stopped being afraid.

#30 - Peace

Hazama speaks to him in half-truths and lies; Jin prefers it that way, because the truth is too ugly to bear.

#31 - Poison

Jin ruins everything he touches, but what does it matter when there’s nothing left he wants to save, when he should be long dead anyway?

#32 - Pretty

Back then, Hazama could only think, _who allowed your violence to be so beautiful?_ the same way Honoka did when he followed his Lieutenant down his path of bloody destruction.

#33 - Rain

He was more than half-dead when Hazama stumbled upon him, wet and shivering and covered in his own blood - he lifted his limp body out of the mud and wondered, _didn’t you have people that cared about you? so why were you left here?_

#34 - Regret

Whatever is left of Jin has already shattered beyond repair - ah, if only he could… But no, it’s too late for that now, was never possible in the first place when what broke him was one and the same with what kept him together.

#35 - Roses

The room is bare and sterile, a fact that the flowers on the bedside table do little to remedy; Jin’s eyes are closed and his bandaged chest rises and falls slowly with his breath, and Hazama lets his smile drop for once to wonder if this is something like how it feels to care.

#36 - Secret

“I loved him,” he says suddenly, making Hazama’s eyes open slightly in a rare glimpse of gold; “As much as you hated him?” he asks - “More, even,” Jin answers, and the other man nods, “It was like that with her, too.”

#37 - Snakes

The scales are smooth against his hands, and pleasantly cool; Hazama laughs at Jin’s little noise of wonder as the reptile flicks its tongue against his wrist.

#38 - Snow

Hazama has never been the sentimental sort, is unused to the ache he feels when he looks over a town covered in white… Is this the pain he had been searching for?

#39 - Solid

The hand on his arm feels real, but then again so do the claws that grasp at him in his dreams - “Stop messing with your bandages,” a voice says, and he can’t tell if that’s real either.

#40 - Spring

It is a time for young couples, the kind who look at each other with adoration in their eyes and love in their hearts.

#41 - Stable

It’s something they can never have, he realizes; he turns to see a similar sort of longing reflected back at him in Hazama’s expression.

#42 - Strange

The words sit clumsy on his tongue, “I’m sorry…” Hazama laughs and shooes his pathetic attempts at comfort away, “Are you pitying me?”

#43 - Summer

The house is bright and warm and everything else he is not, the wear on its floors and the drawings on the fridge further proof that family resides here in a way he can never have.

#44 - Taboo

It seems like it’s his fate to only want the things that are forbidden to him.

#45 - Ugly

The wounds are gruesome - it would be a lie to say otherwise, but Hazama has always been a liar and finds it easy to pretend that they don’t repulse him (that he isn’t angry that Jin has been so hurt by someone who didn’t deserve that honor, that he isn’t angrier still that it doesn’t bother Jin at all).

#46 - War

This place is a home for those whose homes were ripped cruelly away, but Hazama had made sure they were all out when he brings Jin in - more than anything, Jin hates crowds, and he’s barely presentable besides.

#47 - Water

Jin tilts his head back as Hazama washes his hair; crusted blood and dirt stain the water that vanishes down the drain as he is chided again for not taking better care of himself.

#48 - Welcome

Hazama’s other charges live here too, _(three girls with Saya’s face, a young boy he might’ve known once, and the sister that boy puppeteers)_ and they had all stared at him when they found that their house had a new occupant - it was then he knew that he was different, that he would never be one of them, that they were loved and could love in ways he could not.

#49 - Winter

But it is cold, he is _cold,_ and he is so, so sick of being alone.

#50 - Wood

Jin doesn’t talk much at all anymore - it’s okay, everyone else speaks more than enough to make up for it - but Hazama thinks he catches a quiet _“thank you”_ as he wheels him to join the rest at an oak table big enough to seat them all.


End file.
